“I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.”
After six long years, I finished my Bachelor of Arts degree in International Relations and History at the University of Toronto. It was a long journey to get here – a winding route full of pain and suffering, but also moments of hope. Everyone I’ve met throughout my journey has changed me: everyone who was part of UNSOC and the Model UN community, NRAC, the Trinity community, everyone I met in student politics, my Graham Library colleagues, and everyone I’ve met in class, at parties, or anywhere else. I’m so blessed and humbled by the whole undergrad experience.
One of my favourite lyrics is in LCD Soundsystem’s “All My Friends,” when James Murphy sings: “You spent the first five years trying to get with the plan and the next five years trying to be with your friends again.” When I first started at U of T, I thought I knew what I wanted. I had plans but plans don’t always come together the way you envision them: even with hard work and all of your will, sometimes plans just fall apart. And that’s ok. You don’t need to finish in four years; it isn’t a race. Grad school and law school aren’t the only paths. If you need to take an extra year off from school to focus on your health, that’s ok. What you thought you wanted to be or to do might not be for you. “The Plan” isn’t important. What is important is “be[ing] with your friends (and family) again”. They are the reason I’m standing at the finish line after six years. And I am eternally grateful.
There’s a poem by Robert Frost that I love that has kept me going the last few years. It goes, “The woods are lovely, dark and deep / But I have promises to keep / And miles to go before I sleep / And miles to go before I sleep.” These words kept me alive, and have pushed me to finish my undergrad.
University is hard. Living is hard. Living with mental illness is hard. Talking about it (or writing about it) is hard. But I wanted to say that I am still here and I’m finally finished.