My name is Angelo and I live with bipolar disorder.
Living with bipolar disorder is like living with this shadow that I’m always doing a delicate dance with. We’re forever entwined, caught in an invisible struggle while I’m here in this now and in all the possible futures while I’m still here.
I never thought I’d live past thirty. Living with bipolar disorder, I know the intimacy of fragility and flirting with instability. But I have also felt the love and warmth of family, friends, and my lifelong partner. Yes, I am always afraid that the darkness will return – and unfortunately, I’m sure it will. But I have also felt the magnificent light of loved ones. Ten years of living with bipolar disorder. And yet, I’ve lived, thrived, achieved so much.
I want it all. I want life with all of its complexities. I want the whole breadth of emotions and experiences. I want a full story with a beginning, a satisfying ending, and all the chapters in between. And I want to be my own storyteller, not just another tragic story told by others.
In the song “Head Rolls Off” by Frightened Rabbit, Scott Hutchison sang: “While I’m alive, I’ll make tiny changes to earth.” While I’m here, I have to do my best to make this world a better place, one step at a time.
That’s why I’m doing the CMHA Push-up Challenge. From February 5-27, I hope to complete 2000 push-ups to raise awareness about mental illness and fundraise for the Canadian Mental Health Association. (Wow, that’s a lot.) This target represents the 2,000 people who died by suicide each day, worldwide. All proceeds help the CMHA to support mental illness recovery and fund critical mental health services and initiatives in Canada.
Please support me in my goal to make this world a better place — for Will and all the loved ones we’ve lost to suicide, and for everyone and anyone who lives with mental illness. Any donation, big or small, is really appreciated!