There’s always something scary about starting your first day at something new – starting your first day at school, or starting your first day in a program, or starting your first day at work. You never forget that sense of anxiety that you first experience in kindergarten, one of the first times that you’re separate from your parents. Or the first day starting high school, unsure about how you’ll fit in.
And here I am, starting my first day at work, in a job I don’t fully understand. I’ve got all of the practicalities ready. I know how I’m commuting to work. I’ve got all of my clothes on, and because I don’t really know the dress code yet, I’ve got my Model UN outfit on. I’m ready with my blue blazer, my white shirt tucked into my khaki pants, and of course, my trusty debate tie – red, with white dots on it. I’m in a Barong Filipino for Philippines Independence Day, but I don’t really really know what the daily dress code is. But I haven’t mentally prepared myself for what’s next.
There’s something about stepping into the abyss and not knowing where you’ll land. Maybe it just requires a Kierkegaardian “leap of faith.” Nonetheless, it’s a scary feeling.