There are people that will make you feel terrible. Sometimes they’ll say that they didn’t try to make you feel terrible and that they’re sorry you interpreted it that way. It will frustrate you and maybe it will make you angry. It will upset you and maybe it will make you want to cry.
Sometimes it’s a stranger: someone on a Facebook group, someone on the street, some terrible driver. Sometimes it’s someone you know: a classmate, a co-worker. Sometimes it’s someone you love and care about.
Sometimes they’re terrible people. Most of the time, they’re not terrible people. Sometimes the people most dear to you hurt you.
It will hurt.
I’m not here to tell you it’ll get better. I’m not here to tell you about the power of friendship, of love. (You have my favourite band to help you with that – cf. Hug of Thunder)
I’m not going to tell you to not feel upset, or not to feel angry. I don’t even know how to do that. Maybe try and control that anger so that you don’t hurt the people around you. But I’m not here to tell you that.
What I am here to tell you is a word of advice: sometimes you will be terrible to someone – and maybe you should be better. Be kind. That’s the best way to react to people that are terrible to you.
You were terrible to someone. But you are not terrible. But recognize you did something terrible.
Don’t hide it away. Don’t find excuses for your behaviour. Don’t value your pride over someone else’s hurt. Be better.
Learn to say “I’m sorry.”
It’s a difficult thing to do, especially when you know you are right. You can stand your ground, stand by what you said, but you should still say, “I’m sorry.”
Don’t just tell someone that “I didn’t mean to make you feel terrible” – which is probably true. You are probably not a terrible person, and you didn’t mean to hurt them.
But especially don’t tell someone, “I’m sorry you took it that way.” You were terrible to someone and it hurt them.
Be better. Say “I’m sorry” and mean it. Say “I’m sorry” and be genuine.
So when you do something terrible, remember that someone did something terrible to you before – and remember those people who refused to say “I’m sorry.”
Be kind. Be better. Learn to say “I’m sorry.” And mean it.